What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

“As did I,” the first bloke says, getting very excited. “And what year did you graduate?”

Two blokes are sitting at the end of a bar. One orders a drink. The other one says, “From your voice, I’d guess you’re from Ireland.”

I am married for 3 years. My husband keeps pressing my boobs 40-50 times a day. He never stops though I ask him not to. What I should do to stop it?

“Well, to St. Mary’s, of course.”

“Now why would you be saying that, Brian?”

“A lovely little area of the old part of town, McCleary Street.”

Why did my ex replace me so fast?

The first fellow is now beside himself. “The good Lord must be smiling on us. Imagine that the two of us should be meeting here, having grown up on the same street, gone to the same school, and graduated in the same year.”

“So am I. And from where in Ireland might you be?” says the first.

“Faith and begorrah. What a small world. So did I. And to what school would you school would you have been going?”

You found a love potion, and your friend tried to use it on an attractive popular girl, but he accidentally dropped it on the neighbors dog. Now the dog won't stop following him. How would you help him?

“Mother Mary. And on what street in Dublin did you live?”

I’m from Dublin, I am.”

“Oh, let me see now. ’Twas 1964, it was.”

Why do people turn a blind eye to bad behaviour if someone is very good looking? Whereas if someone is ugly, they get harshly judged for everything?

“Yes, that I am,” says the second.

At that point, a woman enters, stands at the other end, and orders a drink. Brian, the bartender says, “Oh, Vicky, it’s going to be a long, tiring night.”